Already got asked if we're dating
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
