i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
