im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
