we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize