I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
