I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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