I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
