six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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