Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
