My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
