the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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