You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
