you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
