It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
