I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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