I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she looked like the before picture.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
