How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
