Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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