that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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