We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
