I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
