the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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