Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
