The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
