going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
