i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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