I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
