I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
