VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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