Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
