You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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