I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
