I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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