i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
