I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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