Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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