i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
