3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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