Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All the doctor said was why
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
