is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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