is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
