I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
