Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
