WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
