Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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