all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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