I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
