There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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