she looked like the bat from fern gully.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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