TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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